The first step toward real change is never taken without doubts.
Is this the right approach for us?
Are our problems too big to overcome?
Will this just turn out to be another one of our failures?
Do we really need to try to change; won't time take care of things?
Let's go straight to the most important: "Won't time take care of
The easy answer to that one is: "Sure." If you wait long enough,
the time will come when you have no problems with your partner –
you will have no partner! But the truth is that too many people
wait far too long before tackling their problems. By the time they
seek help they have experienced so much unhappiness and
hopelessness in their relationship that they have drifted far apart.
It's become a habit for them to blame and accuse each other for
the failures they experience.
So don't wait. Act now.
Remember: doubt and fear go hand in hand with growth and change."Have we already waited too long? Are our problems too big to
overcome?" While there's no easy answer to that one – if you're
looking for a way to come closer together, you've already got a
whole lot going for you. Sure, you could break up. But unless you
want to spend the rest of your life alone, the future will probably
find you in another relationship – with the need to readjust to yet
another person. With better results? Not if you haven't found out
how to solve your problems with this one! I believe that if basic mutual caring exists, your relationship is
worth fighting for.
Couples therapy is not a set of specific instructions on what to do
or not to do, in order to attain a particular vision of blissful harmony.
It is an experimental collaboration with a therapist. A joint effort to
find your own particular way of attaining happiness.
The way which is right for you alone.
In couples therapy the aim is to attain equilibrium and a balance
between the individual's need and desire for growth and development
and the couple's goals and visions for a future together.
Couples therapy holds a promise of increased awareness and greater clarification of issues as well as a new orientation towards a happy
and giving relationship.